Episode 52: The origin of deadbeat dads

The origin of deadbeat dads can be traced back to Abraham, who had Ishmael with his maid, Hagar and then, fourteen years later, had Isaac  with his wife, Sarah. Abraham did not pay too much attention to Ishmael, and that set the precedent for deadbeat dads. Abraham and Sarah’s story echoes in many households and workplaces today although there are laws that protect children born outside of wedlocks. And the generational curse of deadbeat dads continues.

Taking care of a child is a moral, legal, and ethical duty, And yet, many of us lack the decency to fulfill such parental responsibilities.

This series discusses the origin of deadbeat dads and its consequences on today’s society.  

It all started with Abraham, who, under the advice of his wife Sarah, went to sleep with Hagar, his maid. A child, Ishmael, was born as a result of him stepping out of his marriage. Fourteen years later, as promised by God, his wife Sarah gave birth to Isaac. Abraham did not pay ample attention to Ishmael because he was inclined towards many wicked things. 
 
Yet, Sarah was jealous of Ishmael, but she claimed that the boy would negatively influence the young Isaac. Therefore, she ordered Abraham to kick Hagar and Ishmael out of the house. Abraham agreed after God told him to do as Sarah requested; he sent them away and implored them never to return. 

Let’s analyze the actions in the order they occurred. Sarah sent her husband to have sex with the maid because she knew the maid could not say no. The maid agreed because if she said no to a powerful man, she would be fired. Such action is happening today in many households where husbands sleep with maids while wives know but close their eyes. I don’t know about you, and with all the respect I have for the Bible, I said Abraham was a cheater. If God and his wife were testing his fidelity and his loyalty; he failed miserably. I strongly believed that he wanted to sleep with Hagar or he had feelings for her even before Sarah offered him the opportunity. 

The second action was that a child was born, and the wife sent him and his mom away. These actions are occurring as we speak in several families or workplaces where the man feels entitled to fondle their maid or the secretary. As always, kids born out of these relationships paid a hefty price. They are not as lucky as Ishmael to grow into a strong man and dominate nations. I am saying loudly that Sarah was wicked. She sent her man to cheat on her, and she got pissed because he got the maid pregnant. The way I interpret her behavior is that she was covering her shame with anger. 

Did I tell you that Ishmael and his mom lost their way in the wilderness of Beersheba where they suffered from hunger because they ran out of food and water? Abraham knew where he sent them but never felt the need to send more food and water to them, even to travel there to see if they were safe. Why did not God send an angel to him to tell him that Ishmael was suffering and his mon was crying her eyes out. We all know what kind of men have wealth but do not take care of the children they bore with their mistresses. 

Abraham was a deadbeat dad, and his wife enabled him to be so. I don’t intend to justify absent fathers; I am simply saying that deadbeat dad is a generational curse, or better yet, a Bible curse that begins with Abraham and is passed down to today’s society. God could have prevented Abraham from cheating, and more so, he should not have told Abraham to agree to his wife’s demand. For what it was worth, though, God redeemed himself by sending an angel to tell Hagar that he saw Ishmael’s suffering and assure her that he would allow him to live and become the father of a mighty nation. 

In summary, the origin of deadbeat dads can be traced back to Abraham, who had Ishmael with his maid, Hagar and then, fourteen years later, had Isaac  with his wife, Sarah. Abraham did not pay too much attention to Ishmael, and that set the precedent for deadbeat dads. Abraham and Sarah’s story echoes in many households and workplaces today although there are laws that protect children born outside of wedlocks. And the generational curse of deadbeat dads continues.